Chocolate Vanilla At Shoreditch House

Its official; summer is sporadically upon us and by way of celebrating you can queue at London Fields Lido, navigate your way through the spotty bums and pubic excess of the changing rooms to finally catch a case of athletes foot (at best) in the pool. Alternatively you could head to the echelon of swimming sophistication on the rooftop of Shoreditch House. Don’t have a membership you wail? Well that's why Shay 'the chef' Ola and Charlie 'Vanillaface' have deigned to assist you in your proletarian plight, temporarily at least.

The respectively chocolate and vanilla hosts of this new monthly pool party held court on Monday night like Shoreditch's answer to the Play Boy Bunnies. Except male, and not blonde. So nothing really at all like the Play Boy Bunnies apart from the overwhelmingly porn star image they have adopted including; lustrous manes of facial hair, miniscule white swimming shorts and a harem of over excited females in designer heels and bikinis swamping them by the decks.

It might sound pretentious but during the painfully short British summer, a little glamour seems so much more appealing than sweating it out in one of Dalston's newly converted dungeons; why not spend the other eleven and a half months of the year doing that? Quite frankly, snubbing this lemon meringue martini fuelled orgy of Ibiza scaled extravagance would be cutting off the nose to spite the (presumably pasty and troll like) face. What other reason could you possibly have not to attend? Unless of course you're not a fan of half price cocktails, panoramic London views at sunset from pink king-sized beds and the only bar staff in Shoreditch who get paid enough to be polite.

In attendance and taking full advantage of the 'anyone and their mum/dog/PA with a laptop can DJ' rule, which, for better or worse has permeated club culture in London for the time being, were the Voguettes. Now it goes without saying that if all the worlds DJs were set ablaze in some horrible freak simultaneous headphone explosion, no celebrity, magazine intern or their mates could step in to fill the gaping musical void left behind. However, it's unlikely that said explosion will ever occur and with this in mind, there is a definite time and place for attractive people with no idea how to scratch, mix or beat juggle to share their talents. With a range of disco, boogie, house, garage, hip-hop, bassline and generally fun infused music, Chocolate Vanilla is definitely it.