Some people are born for telly, others have telly thrust upon them. Mike Pemberton is both. He's great – a cantankerous, grumpy old man, who pauses only from having fantastically furious domestics with his missus to bitching about his protegees.
Restaurant In Your Home (BBC 2, 8.30pm) was, appropriately enough, deliciously tart.
For anyone who loves to watch people rowing – and I'm guessing that I'm not alone here – it was glorious.
Mike and wife Tina run a seafood restaurant from their home in Norfolk and are mentors guiding wannabes on the path to success.
It is, apparently, the latest money-making venture – spruce up your house and charge people for eating there.
The fun starts when they meet hard-to-like Hackney pair Matt and Marie, who are keen to transform their flat into a bijou diner.
Their front room has barely enough space to swing a roast chicken.
After a trial run, Matt gets the hump when they criticise his food. "I think they have misunderstood," he sniffs.
With revenge in their hearts, Matt and Marie go to Mike and Tina's award-winning home restaurant.
You can see them itching to find fault. Tina and Mike are, as usual, indulging in stagey bickering.
He's the harassed, put-upon hubby: "I haven't TOUCHED your bloody SPOONS!" he shouts. Marie can barely disguise her glee when Mike forgets to put their asparagus on the plate.
Tina, in the kitchen, remarks acidly: "Is she vocal? Or have they just had three bottles of wine too many?" Mee-ow.
Round three sees Tina "advise" Matt on his menu for opening night.
They fall out over his starters, his vegetables, his refusal to clear any space for people to sit. He is a bit up himself, this bloke. He describes salmon as "the hero" of the dish.
Removal men arrive. "Could you start with him, please?," says Tina, pointing at Matt.
"We won't get a bloody atom of thanks for this," spits Michael.
On opening night, Tina and Mike are there, lending support and constructive criticism.
"I don't think you need both asparagus AND samphire on the plate," says Marie, knowing full well that's what they served up. Mike's face, in the background, is a picture.
By the end, they've made a profit of £345. Mike is impressed: "I hated them to begin with," he confesses. You couldn't tell.
What's the secret to making money? The World's Greatest Moneymaker (BBC 2, 9pm) found the answer – not spending any.
Evan Davis's engaging profile of eccentric Warren Buffett found the 86-year-old may be one the world's richest men but he's a firm "short arms, deep pockets" kind of chap.
His daughter does deals on hail-damaged vehicles if she's shopping for a car. "He likes deals," she said.
Not really a restaurant in your living room, not even a pop-up one, as Matt said more like a Super Club.
ReplyDeleteNearly ever week a new super club appears especially in east London and more than likely in Dalston/Hackney.
What I enjoyed about the original ones is that they were raw, fun and quirky. And there key goal was a new dining experience.
Today everyone is using this as an excuse just to make extra money and they suggest a price of £30-£35 per head. Crazy! I'd rather dine out at a restaurant for that money!
Especially as most don't even offer an experience. The Pale Blue Door is probably the only one left worth going to, offering a strange and collective experience and great food.
Forget the rest for that price and dine out in style. What has the world come to when pop super clubs with nothing special believe they are good value for money when they have no overheads and are paying no Tax or VAT and you even have to bring your own wine for £30-£35 a head!
Matt even said at one point he thought £50 a head was reasonable, do us a favour you live in a pokey flat on dusty Graham Road, not really a the start for a great dining experience!